Weight: 160.2
Exercise: You really think I need to exercise after what I did yesterday? Go read my post. I'm taking today off! LOL
Well, last night I enjoyed dinner and fellowship at the women's banquet at Willow Ridge Church. One of the biggest things I took away from what the guest speaker had to say was when she was praying to God that she and her husband might conceive a child, she realized that maybe God didn't intend for her to conceive a child...but how do you know? So she and her husband changed their way of praying and they asked God to change their desires to match His will for their lives. Wow. Can you imagine?
Those of you that know me are aware that I've had two miscarriages before finally having a successful pregnancy and giving birth to our beautiful daughter, Kaelyn. I am aware of the difficulty of those kinds of situations and I am aware that it's so difficult to change the inner desires of our hearts, especially when we want children.
Wait. Did you notice what I just said? I just said, "...it's so difficult to change the inner desires of our hearts." Do you realize that that implies that WE are to change the inner desires of our hearts? What if we ask God, all-knowing and all-powerful, to change the inner desires of our hearts???
Surely if we come to Him in prayer and on our knees and ask Him to do that for us, in time He will. I'm not saying that eventually just by doing that we won't want children anymore, or won't want whatever it is we initially wanted...but if God has a bigger plan and we submit ourselves to His plan openly, we might be better in line with what He wants for us.
Is that scary? Of course it is. David and I desperately want another child. I know already that I'm scared to start trying again because I'm scared I might miscarry yet again. I'm scared that we might discover that we're not meant to have another child. Who knows? (God does...duh!) Shoot, I'm even scared of something going wrong and happening to me because I so badly want to be here to see Kaelyn grow up! (I'm sure all you parents out there can relate with these fears!!!) But I have to remember that God is in control. In the end, He wants what's best for me, and He is the only one who knows what is best for me.
...I just can't follow what I learned last night with talk of what I ate yesterday, etc., etc, so I'm just not going to post that today. Let's just focus on God and all He's done for us. Amen!
Your writings bring tears to my eyes..as a mom and as your friend.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading all that you expose about your inner most feelings and what you learn through teachings and fellowship.
Signed from, not just a mom.. but a fan..